Endgame?

Well, this might be it. During an interval run last night I took a bad step on a downhill, and there was a shooting pain in my knee. I couldn't run. Bending my knee was difficult, but I was able to limp the two miles home, and the acute pain dulled.

This morning, while sitting in a work training, I moved my knee in some way it didn't like, and my knee locked up with a shooting pain that made me feel like I was going to throw up. Which would have been bad, because there was no way I could have run out of the room.

Anyway, I didn't vomit, but I did treat myself gingerly the rest of the day and make an appointment for physical therapy as soon as I could. I'm going next Wednesday. I won't run until then (okay.... maybe I will attempt a light jog, listening to my body).

In the meantime I am trying to reconcile myself to the idea that I might not be able to run this marathon. I am unused to failing at things I put my mind and effort to, so this is extremely displeasing. I am thinking that with rest there is a hope I'll still be able to, and if not I might be able to switch to the half-marathon, because I am fairly confident I'll be able to run that distance with some healing.

On the plus side, I did about 11 miles on Saturday and it was a great, relatively pain-free run. I didn't run with my group, but instead went out at my own pace on my own route later in the afternoon. It was a beautiful day. Here is a picture.

The Long Run

After feeling some despondence the past couple of week that I can actually run this marathon, today's run has me feeling much more optimistic.

I did 17 miles today, and I had told myself if I made it through 17, I would feel like I could make it through the whole 26--even though that's 9 miles shy of the ultimate goal.

This is the loneliest race I've trained for. The long runs are long, and you're on your own. But more than that, what I've realized is that for this training, I can't think about anyone else. What my body can do running this far, and what someone else's body can do are incomparable, so worrying about anyone else is irrelevant. I have had to throw out my expectations of how my body works, and what it can do. The marathon is a different beast, and you get into strange and-- for me-- uncharted waters when you push past that halfway point.

Haruki Murakami wrote in his memoir, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running: "In long distance running, the only opponent you have to beat is yourself, the way you used to be."

That's more true for this distance than any other, I think.

As for the run today, it was long and grueling, but Seattle in Spring is a delight, and at various points cherry blossoms showered down from the trees and carpeted that paths.



I started out strong, with my knees aching some on the uphill, but I ordered myself not to think of anything below my waist, and instead to focus on my core, and my music, and the rest of my body. That trick worked well. I kept a solid 10 minute pace for the first 7 miles, and the dropped to 11:00 through mile 11. By the time I hit mile 13-15, my pace dropped to closer to a 14:00 pace--but I was also going uphill the whole time. I finished at a faster pace, but not too much.

I did four things over the past few days that helped with this run:

1) Worked on my core and stretched a lot
2) Had a good, large, carb-heavy meal the night before
3) Iced my knees last night
4) Took aspirin this morning before I ran

One thing I hadn't really thought about too much is the amount of calories I'm burning. My run-tracker estimates I burned over 2400 calories on this run. Of course I'm going to be burning a lot, but it hadn't really occurred to me just how much. I'm already a pretty indifferent eater, so I'm realizing I need to start paying more attention to making sure I'm getting enough calories.

Fortunately, sugar is apparently just fine for long runs, so I'm mostly planning to make up those extra calories with desert.

The Bees Knees

Did I miss posting for the entire month of April? Oops. I have been running, I just haven't been getting the chance to post. However, the race is in exactly one month so I'm going to try to get back on this.

I've been running regularly with my running group, and the long runs have been getting, well... long.

Unfortunately, my knees are not keeping up with me. I have never had knee problems before, but about three weeks ago I noticed a tweak in my right knee. It felt small, but it started nagging and started really bothering me when the runs increased over 13 miles. Two weeks ago, I had to bail at 14 miles of a 16 mile run and call for a ride home.

Last week, I did 14 miles. My knees ached but I could run through it. It was a terrible run, though--I just felt slow. And tired. Towards the end, I literally felt like crying. Were it not for my utter aversion to crying in public, I probably would have. For a few minutes I let my breathing sort of shudder like I was about to, and that released some adrenaline which made me feel better, but I would have felt best just bawling. I'm not much of a crier except under fairly intense stress, but I was feeling really frustrated with how much my knees hurt and were slowing me down.

Last night we had an interval runs and running hard up hills was killing me. When I slowed it to a jog it felt a lot better, so I'm going to take the 17 miles this weekend pretty slowly.

I did go to the doctor for my knees, but I have been less than religious about my stretching. However, I think I need strengthening exercises as well, so I asked for a referral to a physical therapist. I hate being injured, but I love PT.

In the meantime, I am going to do my stretches, work on my core--and take Tyelenol before my runs to help with inflammation.